I get the over land train to work and back every day. I noticed you have now started urging people to ride their bicycles to work instead. Is that because you too, see what a revolting experience it is to be on any train or tube for longer than ten minutes a day? Just wondering???
So i thought I might write to you about and suggest a few additions to the constitution, or perhaps to urge the graceful English public to improve their railway manners...
- Please don't sneeze on me (this actually happened this morning, i almost threw up)
- please don't speak at the TOP of your voice. No one wants to hear how badly educated you are.
- Please don't snog your girlfriend/boyfriend/homosexual life partner. get a room.
- please don't puke on the train. if you are seriously that pissed, get a cab so you don't have to share your splatter with the rest of London
- PLEASE DON'T SIT NEXT TO ME. ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE IS A WHOLE CABIN OF EMPTY SEATS. I mean, are you for real? I have no desire to smell your lack of hygiene.
- please don't give me evil eyes when i don't stand up for you and offer you my seat. You are not pregnant, you're just a bit overweight, and if you are pregnant, you are far too young and should probably offer me a seat.
- please don't bring your pitbull on the train. It does not make you any cooler or more mucho, you are still a filthy chav.
- Put your head down, don't make eye contact, pretend you are writing an email on your blackberry and don't miss your stop.
Thanks for your consideration....
Kind regards
XX
MM
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